Comments on: Parenting Decisions: How NOT To Manage A Tantrum (In Public) http://thetruthbehindadhd.com/parenting-children-temper-tantrums/ Tips, Tools, and Strategies, to Support Children With ADHD Thu, 03 Sep 2009 14:19:49 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Diane Ladd http://thetruthbehindadhd.com/parenting-children-temper-tantrums/comment-page-1/#comment-912 Diane Ladd Thu, 01 Jan 2009 18:54:00 +0000 http://thetruthbehindadhd.com/?p=217#comment-912 Parents often have difficulty managing tantrums in public because they have not learned socially appropriate tools! Being a parent is the toughest job in the world and we all need support to raise this very smart and sofisticated generation! Thank you for this post Rory! It brought memories of the early years back for me and I blogged about your post on my blog www.addtolifecoaching.com. Parents often have difficulty managing tantrums in public because they have not learned socially appropriate tools!
Being a parent is the toughest job in the world and we all need support to raise this very smart and sofisticated generation!
Thank you for this post Rory! It brought memories of the early years back for me and I blogged about your post on my blog http://www.addtolifecoaching.com.

]]> By: Lisa Lauffer http://thetruthbehindadhd.com/parenting-children-temper-tantrums/comment-page-1/#comment-905 Lisa Lauffer Tue, 30 Dec 2008 18:52:17 +0000 http://thetruthbehindadhd.com/?p=217#comment-905 I read this post awhile ago, and it's haunting me, so I've had to return! I feel compassion for this mom, having been in her shoes way too many times! This scenario is why so many of us moms dread running errands with our kids--our kids know they and we are on a stage, and they try (and all-too-often succeed) to take control of the show (if only she knew her stage would extend to the Internet--eek!). I think those of us w/ special needs kids--ADHD, gifted, SPD, etc.--experience this at an even more intense level. For some reason, these kids have a more keen radar for our sense of helplessness when needing to discipline in public. Speaking for myself, I've felt challenged to grow up and give up needing other people's approval, because for me, that's where I give up control to my kids. If I want a nice, calm experience in a store, I usually can't take my kids with me. If I have to take them with me, then I need to be prepared to stop obnoxious behavior without worrying what other people will think. (Usually, if I'm handling it well, an empathetic adult will say "You go, Mom. Stick with it.") I believe I have to start this at home. I have to be able to address a tantrum adequately and positively at home so my kids are trained for it in public. If they test the waters in public, then they know what the consequences can be at home, and I have a prime opportunity to train them in what those consequences can be in public. But I need to be willing to take the time, energy, and potentially the hit to my ego to make it happen. I'm currently reading a fabulous book about discipline entitled 1-2-3 Magic by Dr. Thomas W. Phelan. I've not finished it yet, have only begun to administer his disipline ideas, and am already seeing a huge difference in how I handle--and enjoy--my kids. I highly recommend it (so far!). This is such an important topic. Thank you, Rory, for raising it and beginning what I hope will be a helpful discussion! I read this post awhile ago, and it’s haunting me, so I’ve had to return! I feel compassion for this mom, having been in her shoes way too many times! This scenario is why so many of us moms dread running errands with our kids–our kids know they and we are on a stage, and they try (and all-too-often succeed) to take control of the show (if only she knew her stage would extend to the Internet–eek!). I think those of us w/ special needs kids–ADHD, gifted, SPD, etc.–experience this at an even more intense level. For some reason, these kids have a more keen radar for our sense of helplessness when needing to discipline in public.

Speaking for myself, I’ve felt challenged to grow up and give up needing other people’s approval, because for me, that’s where I give up control to my kids. If I want a nice, calm experience in a store, I usually can’t take my kids with me. If I have to take them with me, then I need to be prepared to stop obnoxious behavior without worrying what other people will think. (Usually, if I’m handling it well, an empathetic adult will say “You go, Mom. Stick with it.”) I believe I have to start this at home. I have to be able to address a tantrum adequately and positively at home so my kids are trained for it in public. If they test the waters in public, then they know what the consequences can be at home, and I have a prime opportunity to train them in what those consequences can be in public. But I need to be willing to take the time, energy, and potentially the hit to my ego to make it happen.

I’m currently reading a fabulous book about discipline entitled 1-2-3 Magic by Dr. Thomas W. Phelan. I’ve not finished it yet, have only begun to administer his disipline ideas, and am already seeing a huge difference in how I handle–and enjoy–my kids. I highly recommend it (so far!).

This is such an important topic. Thank you, Rory, for raising it and beginning what I hope will be a helpful discussion!

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