Freedom And Independence For You And Me
July 3, 2009 
6 Comments
First off, I really want to thank those of you who have shared your goals with the group. If you haven’t there is still time to join us for this summer accountability challenge to meet your goals and get help from others. I have a lot of ideas about the goals shared, and how we can break these down and make them more manageable.
But today, I’d like to pause for a moment to acknowledge the upcoming holiday here in the United States. The 4th of July is probably one of the biggest celebrations for Americans around the world (and others who have followed for Independence). While many simply take the time to celebrate a national holiday that represents our freedom from tyranny – I want to think larger than that.
I find that many people (myself included at times) take for granted the meaning of freedom and independence that was fought for over 200 years ago. Back then it was a matter of gaining our independence from rule from afar – including unfair taxation and policy from our leaders across the ocean.
Regardless of what you believe, even your political affairs, the fight for freedom and true independence is still raging on and on everyday. Today I want to encourage you to look at your life, and think about what it means to truly be free.
In my life, I want to be free from expectations that I find to be unrealistic and difficult to meet. Many of my clients share that a diagnosis of ADHD can be very liberating. Yet, after this diagnosis, their fight continues.
- The fight to be understood…
- The fight to be accepted…
- The fight to "fit in"
- The fight to be free from stress
- And so much more…
If you’ve been with me for any great period of time, then you know that I firmly believe the constraints and expectations of societies across the world are often unfair and even unrealistic. In my own life, I was encouraged to pursue an advanced degree. It was the "right" thing to do, yet for several years I struggled with that decision. And certainly the choice to be a stay-at-home Dad, sacrificing my career for kids, was a huge factor in continued struggle and feeling as if life was out of control… As if I had made the wrong choice.
Just about 4 years ago, my daughter was born and being a father changed my entire perspective on life. Suddenly, what mattered most was not my grades (in graduate school), the comments and feedback from professors, supervisors, and colleagues, but rather how my kids saw me and the impact I had upon them. And in turn, the impact they have had on me…
Today I celebrate a different kind of freedom. I am excited to be free from a world of expectations that don’t meet or match my interests or desires. While those expectations continue to exist, I have found my path to what freedom means to me.
I hope today, and every day (no matter where you are), that you will seek out true freedom in your life and for your family.
It’s not always easy, and there will be people who tell you that it is not possible. But that’s what our forefathers here in the US were told when fighting the larger, more victorious British army.
Yes — times have changed, but you can choose to fight and get what you feel you deserve. That is the true meaning of Independence and Freedom for me.
I hope you’ll take a moment to share with me what freedom and independence means to you, and how you will pursue it in your own life.
Dr. Roy’s comments and “thank-fulls” cover so many of my feelings and emotions in terms of acceptance, understanding, etc. More than that, I am thankful that I can help pursue a disease that took my mother in 2008 – ALS. A hideous disease that literally steals your life and body, one piece at a time, leaving your brain intact. On top of that, she suffered from AADD, undiagnosed, but clearly so. I am active because she couldn’t be. I am focused because she wasn’t, and I am grateful for the independence of good health and expanding knowledge and support for both illnesses. I appreciate every moment the ability to think, plan and reach out as I need to to accomplish my goals. Thank you, for creating this site.
Happy Fourth of July!
Happy 4th! The signers of the declaration of independence were very radical guys – as anti-monarchists, they even used playing cards whose face cards had pictures of american indians, colonial heroes, and figures from greek mythology, rather than the traditional kings and queens. Americans have a tradition of finding their own freedom in the face of very strong resistance. I hope we can do the same for ourselves, and find the freedom to use our strengths – create our own playing cards – that feature pictures of creativity, spontaneity, intuition, flexibilty, compassion, humor, and kindness.
I am so thankful to have discovered this website recently (yesterday in fact). Reading this really spoke to me! In particular, the paragraph starting with “Today I celebrate a different freedom.” As a homeschooling mother of 3 kids with various struggles (ADHD, SPD, possible APD), I have to remind myself that my children will never fit into the “mold” that other kids might. I am learning, daily, to find freedom as I observe my kids fighting and struggling against the things that cause their bodies to act and react “abnormally”. I am so proud of them, and also proud of myself as I learn more and more to let go of others’ opinions of my children. They have taught me so much and I’m grateful for the gift they have become!
I agree that freedom counts and that for it to have meaning must be defined from the inside out. A lot of what we do is to please others and carve a place for ourselves to be loved.
I most admire my late cat, she came into our lives as a stray and refused to leave or believe she was not wanted. Because of this we fed her loved her and appreciated her, she gave back by being herself. I have a PhD, (I am working on another one in cognitive neuroscience and executive function) but I only wish I was as smart as the cat!
I like this quote ”Be Yourself. Everyone Else Is Taken! Always be yourself because the people that matter don’t mind, and the ones who mind, don’t matter”
I admire your choice to say at home with your children, my son also did this but had to support them as well because his wife is not able and he keeps them but has to work outside as well. He has often mentioned that this was not an easy social choice as it was not clebrated by peers of either gender….
“Just because something doesn’t do what you planned it to do doesn’t mean it’s useless” Thomas Edison.
I am not the traditional adhd although I think that there is a much more detailed and individual profile that may never be acknowledged, but should through an informed, literate and tolerant world “one-person-at-a-time. Many of your written opinions resound with my soul although I do not have the traditional adhd. I do have 2 sons, one with add (bio), and one with adhd (adopted from another country). Personally, I have felt alone my whole life searching for a close and profound soul relationship and recognizing in others that do not have it but hunger for it through inappropriate avenues. My adhd expresses itself through a poor mental map/sense of direction, a focus on the soul and the richness of a positive and soulful relationship. Through my search to assist my sons, I have seen the parallels between Autism and add/adhd. I understand that each person has unique gifts and hardships. I faced mine when I took Tae Kwon Do which required speed and a fantastic sense of direction and a quickness to pick up on the instructions. I struggled for 3 years and it made me feel my own children’s struggle in add/adhd, each so unique,one gifted and one the most unique personality I have ever met in my life. And even though I have felt their struggle, as their mom, I still get stuck in my mom “rut”. Your words, struggle and sensitivity resonate with me. Happy 4th!!
I am tied to a 9-5 job, and though I am very grateful for the work and the income, I would consider independence to be self-employed. I would like to run my own business from home. The greatness of our current times is that I CAN take steps to get that going. Thanks, Dr. Rory for the provocation to think about it, and put my answer here.