When I first came across this video on Facebook today, I was watching it because a friend asked a question.  Little did I know that what Ken Robinson would be speaking about would have me jumping up and down, on the edge of my seat, and cheering for more.

This is simply brilliant.

It starts off about the economy and our education system.  Ok…I was curious.  But then at the 4:30 mark, my ears perked up as I heard Ken Robinson speak about ADHD and the epiedmic, or rather the “NOT  an epidemic” of ADHD.

That’s when things got REALLY good, and I knew I would have to share this with you.

This is NOT about politics.

This is NOT just  about the economy.

This is NOT just about our education system.

This is NOT just about ADHD.

It’s about the big picture.  This is about life and where we are headed.  This is what I have been talking about when it comes to seeing a child with ADHD for more than just the diagnosis.  This is about how we can support a child with ADHD…heck, any child…  We need to focus more on the big picture and societal shifts and trends than we do the micro of ADHD symptoms and diagnosis.

Watch this video, and let me know what you think (in the comments below):

• How did it make you feel?
• What was your gut reaction?

SpongeBob and ADHD?

Did you hear this yet?

A recent study published in the journal Pediatrics, suggests that kids around 4 years of age demonstrated decreased attention levels after watching only nine minutes of the favored Nickelodeon show SpongeBob Squarepants.

Two groups were tested, one watched SpongeBob Squarepants and the other watched what the journal is reporting as a “slower paced” show called Caillou…

I’m familiar with both shows.  I’m just not certain what the media outlets and / or the study is referring to as a “slower-paced” show versus the alternative of what?  A more hyperactive show – featuring an energetic, flighty SpongeBob who is all over the place?  (NOTE: Sarcasm intended here).

But seriously…this has generated quite a bit of news attention and talks children and attention issues.

Noted in the research, these children were not reported to have any identified attention problems like ADD / ADHD.  It was also a small sample size (red flag), and the show is intended for 6-11 year olds.

These are the points being argued, debated, and presented by the mainstream media, research scientists, and of course the creators and distributors of the show.  Oh, and let’s not forget that the American Academy of Pediatrics says “No television for children under two years of age,” and other groups are saying that we should focus on quality of television and NOT quantity.

Well DUH!!!
Oh the issues I want to tear apart here and rant on…

#1.  My readers know how I feel about research.  It has it’s place, but typically there are flaws and limitations that while they might get mentioned (in small print) don’t lead the newscasts or the water-cooler talk on Twitter and Facebook.  For instance, this story probably already has legs because it involves SpongeBob, television, our children, and attention questions.

The reality is, and mentioned, that this study involves a very small sample.  And worse off, it’s reportedly a sample of all middle to upper class white kids.  Where’s the diversity?  There was also no-pretest measuring intelligence or attention span.

The researchers claim, as mentioned above, there were no identified attention problems in these children.  BUT, we all know how misunderstood ADD / ADHD is.

#2  The issue of Quality vs. Quantity.  I like that this is emphasized, but seriously, are we to be surprised that children are watching more and more television at a time when life is busier and busier on parents…just to get by and survive?  Think about it…  In a lot of families, two parents are out of the house working just to go by.  Kids (older brothers and sisters) have more and more homework and even more extracurricular activities.

This now doesn’t involve or consider the current state of our society given how stressed out parents might be that they are possibly about to lose their jobs or might already out of work.

Ok…let’s not hit that panic button here quite yet.  And I might be guilty of inciting some panic by stirring the pot.

But the issue of quantity verus quality is HUGE.  Are we as parents / adults paying attention ourselves to what our kids are watching?  And what about the commercials that are targeting a certain demographic between SpongeBob aged-kids and Calliou aged kids?

Me Personally?

I’ve said my peace…  I think research nowadays makes headlines because the news likes a juicy story.  We are still struggling as a community to understand what causes ADHD, what contributes to ADHD, and to what makes an individual’s symptoms worse.

So does SpongeBob cause ADD / ADHD?  Doubtful.  And that’s NOT what the research is suggesting.  (Me either).  What is pointing out however, is that attention spans are being affected by current trends in society.  And because we do a poor job diagnosing and identifying ADD / ADHD from other conditions…we have to be more alert of what is going on.

And more than ever, we need to be stronger advocates for our children.  Information like this falling into the wrong hands can cause even more frustration, singling out, and fingers being pointed at our children (or even us as parents).

Now It’s Your Turn…

What do you think?  Let us know your reaction in the comments.

I recently answered this question and thought it was worth sharing. Plus, it really got me thinking. For those of you who do take medications yourself, or have children taking medications, what experience do you have or see as a result?

It’s difficult to say what you changes you might see in your husband without knowing which exact medication he is being prescribed. There are different types, two primary to be exact (stimulants and non-stimulants) along with some “off-label” medications that are for other conditions but have also shown to work with ADD / ADHD.

Depending upon which medication he is prescribed, along with his particular type of ADD / ADHD, his experience of ADD / ADHD, and how his body reacts, there is just know way to tell.

In most cases, there are generally side-effects, and I would encourage you to watch for them, ask him about them, and then have him communicate with his prescribing physician if there is any concern.

As for how they help, the best way I can put it is that the medications are said to improve focus, concentration, and attention so that his brain or his energy can be focused on other tasks. The medication itself does not get rid of ADD / ADHD… It merely relieves symptom experience so he can dedicate “resources” to other tasks.

One friend of mine who has taken ADD / ADHD medication for different periods in his life (a young adult) has shared with me that it allows him to better control his emotional reaction to situations and deal with them more effectively.

Unfortunately, I can’t get you a better answer right now without knowing more about your husband and which medication he will be prescribed. But I hope this helps.

As for whether they work or not (the medications), biologically they do. But again, they are not a cure for ADD / ADHD. They do not suddenly make life miraculously better. There are still lots of things to work on, and the medication is supposed to help with that…but certainly not resolve everything.

I’d love to hear your thoughts, comments, or personal experience with medication. Go ahead and share with us all what experience you have had. We’d also love for you to share this with anyone you know who might find this information or your comments useful.

As an admitted self-improvement / personal development “junkie,” I have been listening to T. Harv Eker’s The Milllionaire Mind Intensive audios this weekend. As I often talk about here and with clients, I believe that your mindset towards your wants and desires has a tremendous impact on what you are able to achieve.

Now I obviously won’t be talking about “Winning the Financial Game” like Harv does, but I couldn’t overlook one of his lessons that really applies to everything we do in life.

“Are you playing to win, or not to lose?”
~T. Harv Eker

As I heard T. Harv talk about this concept, it immediately simplified something I like to talk about but never quite found the words to sum it so succinctly or clearly.

When I think about a lot of my clients and the questions I get from readers like you, it’s not uncommon to hear from people that they are constantly playing catch-up or clean up from the day to day stress and frustration of parenting a child with ADHD (or just parenting in general, honestly).

The message I want to share this week, and the real takeaway lesson has to do with being active and not passive… It has to do with responding to situations, and NOT reacting.

These are subtle, yet important differences that can truly mean the difference between success or ongoing struggle with anything you face in life.

Another great thing Harv talks about is that most people don’t know what they want in life, but they certainly know what they don’t want.

Whether you are looking for financial freedom (as T. Harv talk about), or parenting a child with ADHD, the same applies again.

Without a clear ending in mind, you will never know WHEN you get there, and you most certainly WILL NOT know HOW to get there.

With that said, I’d like to give you some homework this week….but NOT just any homework. I want to leave you with something that will help you get on the road to reaching your goals, and having a clear path to follow.

HOMEWORK: (You’ll need a pen and paper).

1. Write down what you want for your self, your child, and / or your family. (Be as clear and as specific as possible).
2. Write down how you picture things to be if you had a magic wand and could suddenly remove all the struggles you currently face (related to or not to ADHD specifically).
3. Act as if…

The final step, “Act as if…” means you want to begin acting like the situation has changed. You want to treat your self, your spouse, your siblings, your child, or anyone else like things have already changed.

When you act as if, you will start to change habits to get what you want.

For a long time now, there has been great concern, speculation, and rumor that ADHD might be caused (or at the very least contributed to) by certain pesticides used to grow and manufacture our foods.

While the medical community has so far said “no,” today we hear otherwise from a newly published study in the Journal of Pediatrics.

According to the study, one common pesticide (organophosphate) used to grow fruits and vegetables suggests there is reason to be concerned. Of over 1,000 participants involved, 119 had symptoms of ADHD. Researchers analyzed single urine samples and found that children with the highest concentrations of the pesticide were more likely to have ADHD.

Researchers and experts caution that more research must be conducted, but also suggests that we need to look at these findings very seriously.

What you can do

Lead author of the study, Maryse Bouchard, states that we should limit our exposure to the chemical by eating only organic produce. She also added that frozen blueberries, strawberries, and celery had more pesticide residue that other foods.

According to one Today Show expert contributor, we should also avoid eating foods that are out of season.

You can read the full article here:

ABC News

Yahoo News

Today Show

There I was watching my children in the middle of their first ever Easter Egg hunt when their differences jumped right out and smacked me in the face. My 2 1/2 year old son and my 4 1/2 year old daughter couldn’t be more different. (Some clearly more obvious than others):

• Gender…
• Age…
• Thinking…
• Concept…
• Understanding…
• Perspective…
• Determination…
• Intention…

It was all in front of me…the differences were screaming out at me. One kid was grabbing as many Easter Eggs as he could (dominating the hunt), while my the other was being very select (almost inattentive) with her selections.

At first I started wondering… What was wrong with my daughter? Was she not seeing all the eggs right in front of her? Did she not have that determination and focus to win? Why was she getting beaten by her younger (and less capable) little brother?

But I bit my tongue… I kept watching and I let those thoughts just sit…without reacting or trying to intervene.

That was entirely different however for my mother-in-law and my wife. They both were trying to steer my daughter in the direction of more eggs. They even slowed her down to try and explain the rules of the hunt… **Don’t even get me started on that just yet.**

Still sitting with my birds-eye view, my mind was now spinning with thoughts and ideas about what this all really meant. An Easter Egg hunt right? I got this all from an innocent fun Easter Egg hunt.

When it was all over, my wife asked our daughter why she didn’t pick up more of the eggs. She even tried rationalizing with her…”Honey, you walked past so many different eggs, why?”

My daughter was great….”But Mommy, I only wanted the yellow and pink ones.”

Now you can accuse of me thinking too much. I probably do!!! But the implications here were staggering for me.

• No one took the time to explain the rules (if there are any).
• Most of the group thought a certain way about the experience and then tried influencing others to think that way.
• No one stopped to ask my daughter what her plan was.
• We assumed way too much…
• We became competitive for our kids and lost sight of the goal: FUN

I am sure there are a million and one lessons we could pull from this experience… just so many lessons from an EASTER EGG HUNT.

But if you are thinking like me…this is how we (society) do things. The majority rule and make the rules. We accept those rules as “normal” and we question anything that is different.

It could just be me and how my brain works…but I’m willing to bet there are some of you who can see what I’m talking about….all from a simple Easter Egg Hunt…

What do you think? Let us know…

I think one of the biggest problems or obstacles facing children and families affected by ADHD is this prevailing idea (by society at large) that these individuals are broken and need to be fixed.  This really kills me…  And it drives me BONKERS!!!!!

But that’s just the surface issue that we need to worry about.  What lies beneath that is far more offensive, insulting, and dangerous!

You’ve heard me say it before…and I need to say it again.  That’s how serious of an issue this is!

“Effective treatment should NOT focus on teaching the
individual (or their family) to become like others.  Instead,
it should help the individual embrace their differences and help
them learn how to work with their ADHD and NOT against it.*”

My friend and colleague Jennifer Koretsky talks about “unleashing your inner maverick,” and I don’t think there is any better way to say it.

Too many people who are different are singled out and can be led to live a life of shame, doubt, sadness, and more…

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

While ADHD as a condition can certainly present challenges for an individual, that does not mean the person themself does not have valuable talents and qualities that can help them become successful.

The worst thing you can do…whether you are a parent or have ADHD yourself…is to break some down…  Never lose hope…  Never give up…  Never believe that you or your child are not good enough simply because you are different.

Most of all, NEVER hide behind who you are!  You are on the on this earth for a reason, and you have qualities that make you stand out from everyone else.  Start to embrace those differences as an advantage.

I don’t care what they are…  Put them to use in a way that embraces your passion and gives you energy and pleasure.

I think it’s safe to say that there are some pretty powerful stereotypes about ADHD? And I don’t think I’ll offend anyone by saying that there are a lot of people who have certain expectations of people once they hear the words “ADHD.”

But what if we there was a quick and easy way to understand people’s reactions and why they behave the way do…towards people with ADHD?

Please consider for a moment:

• How do stereotypes and expectations influence your behavior?
• How do they influence your child’s behavior?
• And what affect do they have on how your child is treated?

These are some pretty interesting questions that I think a lot of people consider every now and again.  But what if these questions deserve more attention than you might realize?  What if just being aware of these questions provided you with powerful insight into how and why your child really is treated by others…  And why he or she might struggle just to get out of bed in the morning?

Perhaps the following can shed some light on these questions:

“…our own behavior can be influenced by our stereotypes, and that
activation of stereotypes can depend on our current state of mind and
how we view ourselves at the moment.” (page 169)

I don’t know about you…but this quote quickly got my brain spinning in all sorts of directions.

These words come from a book called “Predictably Irrational.”  It is written by an MIT professor and researcher who studies behavioral economics.  The basic premise of the book suggests that despite our desire to think we as humans are “rational” people who make clear decisions, we are not.

Through research and investigation, the author demonstrates that we are actually irrational people whose behavior can typically be predicted, and even manipulated based on our circumstances and the situation we find ourselves in.

This book might at first be about economics and buying decisions, but it really has everything to do with human dynamics, interaction, and behavior.  If you haven’t read “Predictably Irrational” yet, I would strongly suggest you move it to the top of your list.

The more I read the above quote…the more obvious it seems to me that I already knew this.  But in the context of this book, and a personal “a-ha” about how easily we are influenced….it meant so much more.  My mind immediately began wondering if this can explain why negative feedback can quickly crush a person’s self-esteem…?  And what if the person were constantly getting negative feedback?  Does this explain why some people just give up?

But even more so…my mind began wondering if this can explain how and why some teachers automatically believe certain things about a child with ADHD…without ever having taught them before?

What are your thoughts on the subject?

To many of my readers it’s been no secret that the last six months have been a challenge.  I struggled with a lot of intense feelings, and pulled back from a lot of what I do and what I like to do.  I isolated myself and it led to disaster.  I wish I could say that I am completely out of it…and I’m well on my way…but I’m just not out of the woods yet.

In all the work I do supporting families affected by ADHD, one of the strongest pieces of advice I advocate is having a powerful support network, and not being alone.  Yet I still did the exact opposite…

So many parents tell me they are afraid to talk to other parents about their challenges.  Whether it’s not being understood, feeling ashamed, being blamed, judged, or shamed… they tell me they just don’t want to talk to people about it.

And I really get that…  And it’s far too easy to just shy away, especially after being burned a few times.

But I have to caution you to steer clear of isolation as best you can.

Whether you are a busy on the go parent (working outside or inside the home), it’s just too easy to feel alone.  It’s too easy and natural to get caught up in your world…your own struggles…and to feel like you are the only one!

As a stay-at-home-Dad…my biggest struggle is the demands of being a parent while also having a deep burning desire to work on my life…my business…and to have space.

I’m telling you this because I withdrew from my support network.  I was afraid to say certain things to people.  I didn’t want to be judged.  I was embarrassed by certain thoughts I was having, and felt like others would laugh.

But the other day I finally reached out to a colleague and shared some thoughts that were holding me back…  I couldn’t keep them to myself anymore.  I took a chance…and yea…I was nervous about it.

And you know what?

He didn’t laugh…  He didn’t judge.  He actually connected with me… Heard me… And told me he has the same thoughts.  Instantly I was re-energized and felt like I wasn’t the only one.  It was amazing and gave me energy that I hadn’t felt in a while.

Now not everyone will have this affect on me…or you.  But it reminded me that there are people out there who will offer support.  And that being alone is dangerous! It also reminded me that I am NOT alone and that I crave connection.  It is connection that inspires me…

That might work for you, or it might not.  You’ve got to find what or who helps get you out of isolation or being alone.

But no matter how uncomfortable you are feeling… How scared… Alone… Or Lost you feel…  Don’t keep it bottled up inside. Take a chance and share with someone.  If they don’t give you what you need, find someone who will.

No I don’t expect it to be that easy.  Sure it might even hurt…but I am living proof that going through it alone is dangerous and just makes things even harder.

Raising a child or supporting a loved one with ADHD ain’t easy!  Believe you me…I get it!!!!  But I’m also gonna tell you that life isn’t easy…  Raising a child without ADHD isn’t easy…  It’s just different.  Yes, you’ll face unique challenges for sure… and all it takes to get the support you need is to find the right people.  That’s the challenge we all face in life.

I really did almost snap earlier this week, and it was not my kids
fault.  You might say it was brought on by my children, but stepping back I knew it was all on me.

I was the one who was getting easily frustrated.  I was the one who was having a hard time with my patience.

No matter what they do… I am the one who is usually at fault when I get angry, mad or frustrated!

So what happened?

Monday and Tuesday this week I hired a babysitter for the first time ever. I needed to get some things done around the house – and quite frankly – I also just wanted some time for me.

I’ve been a stay-at-home Dad for four years now, and have sacrificed my own time so my kids could have what they want.

But that’s what we parents do…right?

Anyway, while the babysitter was here on Monday, my kids were on their best behavior.  They played nicely together, and they had a lot of fun.

And yes, I was able to get things done and it felt great.

But then I decided to send the sitter home early, and that’s when it (and I) unraveled and almost snapped.

Once our babysitter left, the kids went crazy!  And by crazy, I mean they were doing exactly what you would expect a two-year-old and a four-year-old to do.

They were jumping on all the furniture and interrupting me while trying to do work…  The nerve of me!!!

What was so bad?

In hindsight, my kids did nothing wrong. They were acting their age by exploring the world and experimenting with new things.  They wanted attention from me, their primary caregiver…

To some degree, I didn’t like what they were doing to get my attention (and I think that’s the point).

So again, they did nothing wrong.  They weren’t being bad — but to me they were because I had other interests…other intentions…other thoughts about what I wanted to do with the same amount of time.

That’s when disaster strikes.

One of the things I tell a lot of my clients (with kids) is that children
know exactly what they want.  In most cases they just can’t express it or go about expressing it in a way that we as adults don’t want to hear it.

Even as I write this now, my kids are playing with the sitter – jumping up
and down – having fun, but I just want quiet.

We both want different things, and no one is really wrong, but we are sharing space that perhaps we should not be at the exact moment.

Well, that’s my thought for the day. I really just wanted to share my story with you because I know many of you could appreciate it.

And I also wanted to share this with you because in that exact moment, I
found myself saying "If only my readers were here to see me (a parent coach) reacting the way I am…

Too funny, but maybe you just had to be here!