These are some pretty powerful (and incredibly negative) ways to describe people or talk about others.  I’m sure just seeing these words gave you some sort of reaction?  Now imagine how using these words – c’mon, we all do – impact the people around us?

Now how do they impact our children or loved ones who might be a little different than what is expected of them?

For the individual with ADHD, there is a lot of “negativity” associated with the condition.  In fact, one very well-known ADHD expert has said there are no positive attributes associated with the condition…  And I am sure there are plenty of other people out there who say it (and believe it) too.

ADHD Is NOT The Person

Today we are NOT going to debate whether or not there are positive or negative qualities directly related to ADHD.  Who cares?  Yea…I said it and I am sure to get some flack for it too.  But that’s also the point.  ADHD is merely a piece of the puzzle, and I am beyond convincing that every single person has plenty of positive attributes.

It’s just finding them can sometimes be difficult…

Consider this for a moment.  If we were all meant to be good at the same things…how we actually accomplish anything?  Where the fun be?  How we would evolve, invent, and create new and exciting technologies or advancements?

The Weakness Is Not The Person

Just as we all have positive qualities…we also have “negative” qualities or weaknesses as so many people refer to them.  But what exactly is a weakness?  And why do we focus on them so much?

Think about these questions if you want…but what I really want you to think about is the idea of ‘relative weaknesses.’  We can only have weaknesses in comparison to other strengths.  And when you compare…weaknesses are ONLY relative to our strengths.

Does that make sense?

When a child struggles with Math, but excels at Biology or History, does that mean we should focus on the Math being a problem?  Or should we celebrate the fact that they are great in Biology?

Do we get upset because our children can get A’s and B’s in these classes, and then end up with a C or D in others?

What if your child earned all B’s across the board?  Would we be happier?  Still frustrated?

How about the athlete who is gifted in one sport but not another?  What if they never discovered their talent in one sport?

Everything is relative, and we seem to ignore that.  A weakness cannot exist without a strength on the other end.

My challenge to you today is to remove these words from your vocabulary, and to begin looking at your children…your loved ones…your spouse…partner…whoever NOT in comparison to other people…BUT in comparison to themselves.  NOT in comparison to other people, but in comparison to their abilities…

Normal does NOT exist.  Most people are NOT good at everything, and they are NOT intended to be either.

I know I have plenty of weaknesses, and I am well aware of them…  There might even be some I don’t see as weaknesses, but they might be obvious to you.

As a self-described non-baseball enthusiast, I am more drawn to the history of the game…  To the history of one of the most profilic athletes to play major league baseball.  And again, more importantly, I care about story… legacy… greatness… and the idea of what someone represents.

Feeling a little sappy already this morning, I was saddened even more to learn of the passing of Edward Kennedy (the senior Senator from Massachusetts).  Not being much of an active political person – and yes I even live in the great commonwealth of Massachusetts – I am more drawn and saddened by his passing because of what he represents to this country.

For those of you don’t know…  Ted Kennedy was the younger brother to our past President John F. Kennedy (before my time), and Robert Kennedy.

Legacy…  Life… Greatness…

While sharing the news of Senator Kennedy’s passing with a friend, she remarked that he was a very polarizing individual in his politics.  I could sense there was something more to it.  BUT, my point of sharing his passing had nothing to do with his politics.  I was compelled to share simply because of what this man represented to so many people, and his legacy over several decades of growth and history in this country.

Growing up after JFK’s assassination, the Kennedy family represents an empire or royalty in the United States.  They are a family who has been followed and watched…  And yes, they even impacted history and the course of our society.

What Can You Learn From This?

While my friend saw his passing as a moment to comment on his political stance, I was more moved by the loss of a giant in our time.  Like the passing of Michael Jackson or any larger-than-life figure…  there are always people who will see things differently than you and I.

For me…  I have been moved by the greatness of figures like Ted Kennedy, Michael Jackson, and Babe Ruth.  I am looking at what they represented.  And most of the stories of their greatness – focus on what success they achieved in life.

Yes there are critics who take this opportunity to focus on the negatives.  There will always be critics in life.

Who do you choose to listen to?

And more importantly, who will you choose to listen to when it comes to living with ADHD?  Raising a child with ADHD?  Or in supporting a loved one with ADHD?

Will you focus on all they do wrong, or what they do well?