When I first heard the news, I started to wonder whether or not Michael’s ADHD would come into the spotlight.  In the ADHD community, there has been tremendous buzz about Michael’s accomplishments in despite his being diagnosed with ADHD many years ago.

Now, I’ve wanted to comment on this for just about a week, but I decided to wait to see the reactions of others.

Some of the fallout:

Michael’s response

“Regrettable behavior” and “bad judgment.”

Commentary

• Phelps did a dumb thing
• Former President’s smoked marijuana in their 20s and managed to do just fine in life

Losing sponsors and being suspended

Kellogg’s drops sponsorship, and 3-months suspension from USA Swimming.

Little Mention Of ADHD

For the most part, there was very little mention of this activity and a link to ADHD or impulsivity… Most people focused on poor judgment and his statement of “regrettable behavior.”  I am thrilled about that…  The focus should NOT be on ADHD.

But then, I happened upon a comment where ADHD was the central focus (or suggested focus) of why Michael engaged in such behavior.  Sure, we could argue that smoking pot was the result of impulsivity (and even ADHD)… but we weren’t there.

And aside from that — what’s the point of saying it was related to ADHD?  He did it, he took responsibility for it, and his life goes on.

One might argue that he might never have admitted it if he hadn’t been caught or if he wasn’t in the public eye. But who cares?  There are (dear I say) millions of teens who experiment with drugs.  Some probably have ADHD…  Some probably experiment because of their “impulsivity” or other related ADHD characteristics…  And still some kids without the slightest hint of ADHD also experiment with illegal drugs.

Here’s My Take:

I don’t care one way or the other about the circumstances surrounding Michael’s behavior or experimentation with marijuana.  Quite frankly, I think any debate about whether or not this activity is linked to ADHD is totally irrelevant and unnecessary.

Why?  What purpose does it serve the greater good of society?  He made a mistake…  And if I may, he’s pretty darn successful.  Let’s focus on that!  Let’s focus on the fact that he made his decisions…  He got caught…  He apologized…  He has consequences…  And his life will go on…

Are We Overlooking The Most Important Factor?

For those people who want to debate Michael’s behavior and any link to ADHD related behaviors…  I ask you this:

• Have you considered the amount of pressure on him thus far in his life?
• Do you have any idea what he has sacrificed to achieve Olympic glory and success?

I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty darn impressed with what Michael has overcome in life (ADHD or otherwise).

For the record, I am NOT excusing his behavior or condoning it.  But I am a bit of a realist.  This young man has faced adversity, overcome challenges, succeeded in life when many thought he would fail… and so much more!

Let’s NOT forget that being diagnosed with ADHD is just a small piece of who a person is.  It does not define him, nor does it account for all of his decisions, behaviors, or challenges.

Perhaps his decision to allegedly engage in this behavior was simply Michael’s way of being his age for once (right or wrong)!

And maybe…just maybe…people who see this behavior as related to ADHD are just skeptics waiting for him to fail.  I suppose if you wait long enough for something — it’s bound to happen.

Tell Us What You Think!

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That was until today…

A few weeks ago, our family was invited to spend a few days with another family, vacationing together if you will…  We would be getting away from the day-to-day routine and spending time with friends outside of family commitments.  We would be going away to do things that I thought would be fun…  Things I was really looking forward to.  Things we don’t have the opportunity to necessarily do every day.

The Writing Was On The Wall

Despite having been away for most of the month of August, with various family commitments, this was the first getaway that would truly be optional and inviting.  It would truly be my own – nothing I was “obligated” to do because of family commitments.

Long story short, we never did end up leaving this morning.  My daughter’s cold got progressively worse through the night, and our son woke up in the middle of the night with a fever.  Still determined to go, I got myself ready and refused to accept the truth…

I knew the right answer was not going away.  I knew the right answer was calling the trip off.  But I was clinging on with so much hope.  And honestly, I was a little angry.

And Then It Hit Me

The more I thought about this decision, the more I knew it was the right decision.  I knew that I needed to stay home and take care of my kids.  I knew that I had to sacrifice once again because their health and comfort was more important at this moment than my own desires.

And that’s what parenting is…  Parenting is all about sacrifice…  At some point, some day, it’s about sacrifice.

And the big lesson that hit me:  I was for the first time really angry at my children.  I was really (selfishly) upset by the fact that I had to give up my weekend because of their needs.

It only took a few moments to let this fleeting emotional response pass.  After all, I knew I had made the right decision.  I knew it was the right decision because it felt so awful.

Parenting is:

• What you make of it…
• An absolute joy…
• A total frustration
• The most wonderful gift
• And so much more…

Yet for a moment today, it felt horrible.  I just wanted a moment of my own.

Looking Back:

Earlier this week I was meeting with a mother of three young children.  And as we were talking about the sacrifices she made, she commented that what was standing in here way was resentment…   And it was in that moment I knew that I had to let my decision stand, and move on.

Never reach the level of resentment…  It’s a dark place, where you risk having a tough battle coming back from it.

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