I am still reading (and re-reading) the comments to really absorb the different perspectives of ADHD, and getting diagnosed.

One thing to me is clear:  Getting the right diagnosis is critical, but it is only a first step!  For the record, I always advocate to my clients and anyone I speak to that seeing a professional – an expert who understands ADHD, children, and development – is of the utmost importance when you don’t know what’s going on.

Let me say that again (it was a mouthful):  Getting the right diagnosis, from the right* person is the most important first step.

But it’s ONLY a first step because there is so much else going on.  The diagnosis can change, and it can be complicated.  In my years of working with children and families, I just don’t know how an accurate diagnosis is made in one 15-minute appointment when there is clearly so much to consider.

Here’s just a taste of what makes the diagnosis so difficult to make:

1. Bad Information:  There is a LOT of bad information that leads to great misunderstanding about what ADHD is and what it is not.
2. Signs & Symptoms: As Dr. Kane mentioned in our previous post, there are over 50 other conditions that can mimic ADHD.  (Not to mention the things that can complicate what might or might not be ADHD).
3. One Size Does NOT Fit All: ADHD is going to be different for almost everyone with the condition.  There is NO one right answer…it’s about personal choice (as pointed out by colleague and friend Tara McGillicuddy).
4. Life Happens: One cannot overlook the dramatic impact and influence that life has upon symptoms of ADHD.  We cannot just attribute everything to the condition…we MUST look at what is going on in a person’s life.
5. Explanation NOT Excuse: ADHD (or the right diagnosis) can help explain why a person acts, behaves, or just is a certain way.  But it does NOT define them, and it should NEVER be used as an excuse.

Yes…there are plenty more complications to getting the diagnosis right.  And that’s why I call it a good and important (critical) first step!

So what’s this all about then?

As I mentioned, it is more important to me (in my humble opinion) that once we have a working diagnosis or understanding of who the person is, we focus on their unique challenges and NOT the diagnosis.

Sometimes we get it right.  Sometimes we get it wrong.  But behavior and our action / success is a good indication of what is going on.  I’ve said before that bad behavior is often a cry for help.  Having a bad attitude is often a way of getting attention when we can’t find the words to say what we really want.

No matter how you cut it…it’s just not as a straightforward as we’d like it to be.  And that’s the POINT!  As a parent of a child with ADHD, you’ve got some great responsibilities.  Yes….it might be more than the “average” kid, but as one “different” child (now adult) to others…. I don’t want to be average.  I like standing out…and yes…I love causing a little controversy.

Additional Responsibilities:

1. Get educated on ADHD / related conditions
2. Advocate for your child
3. Focus on their differences (not…”my child has ADHD”)
4. Question everything (even me).
5. Work with your child’s differences (not against them)
6. Make it fun.

As hard as all of this sounds…all parents face this every single day.  The good news is that ADHD is NOT a life threatening condition.  It’s NOT the end of the world.  It is however…or could be…another challenge you must face.  But hopefully, with this information and the right supports in your life, you will know when to stand up and shout, and when to laugh it off.

At least I hope you can…

But we got stuck…  My colleague asked me “At what point do you educate people on the diagnosis and the importance of HAVING the diagnosis?”

“……………………………”  Suddenly things got very quiet.

Most of you know by now how I feel about a diagnosis…  I won’t mix words here…but for me it’s sorta “nice to know” information.  At least that’s how I will start a conversation or how I REALLY feel about the diagnosis (and most diagnoses in general).

But this comment or difference in approach split the conversation.  We quickly kept dancing around the issue.

How important is it to have that diagnosis?  I mean…to really have it?!?!?!

We both agreed that there are two very distinct groups of people (more I’m sure in reality)…

1. People who have life changing “a-ha” moment when they find clarity from the diagnosis.
2. People who really don’t get all that excited or care…  They just keep moving on with life.

Now these are general characterizations for a reason…  I honestly know that deep down inside there are many different reactions to getting a diagnosis, or even the suggestion of an ADHD diagnosis.

But the question today is really about….  How important is to have that diagnosis versus understanding your differences and what that really means?

Can you have one without the other?

This is a very loaded question for me.  At the end of the day, I don’t much care what the diagnosis is…  At least if we are talking about ADHD.  I am more interested in helping people understand their differences and HOW those differences create challenges than I am nit-picking whether it’s ADHD or not.

BUT!!!!  At the same time…it is clearly important to me because otherwise I wouldn’t insist that people see specialists to get their diagnosis.

So WHY then is this so difficult?

Well…we know how complex ADHD is to diagnose properly.  There are co-morbid conditions that complicate a diagnosis, and there are many other factors that influence our behavior and how we are affected by life.

Plus there is the difference I experienced in my own childhood….  Being identified as “gifted and talented” and how my differences were encouraged and NOT seen as weaknesses.  Just from that experience alone I am convinced that differences are just that….  DIFFERENCES!!!!  They are NOT good or bad until you use them…  And how you decide to use them…

PLUS…there is just so much more to consider.  We need to look at the underlying cause of the behavior.  Is it really ADHD or is it the child?

And I think that’s where we got stuck.  Because I always encourage people to see a specialist to get diagnosed.  I think it’s critically important that we have an accurate diagnosis, or at least a clear picture.  BUT…I still want to know…

How important is that you have the diagnosis?  Is it more or less important to have the diagnosis versus understanding your individual, and unique challenges?

Let me know.  Clearly both are important to me…BUT I am a little stuck and am leaning more towards the side of being aware of your differences more than anything else.

We are definitely living in challenging times, and you are NOT alone! Not even close to being alone. And while that might be helpful information…I often tell people that “that doesn’t help.” It’s great to know we aren’t alone…but it’s even better to know what we can do.

To help with this process…I had the pleasure to interview Stephanie Sarkis, PhD, on her new book “ADD And Your Money: A Guide to Personal Finance For Adults With Attention Deficit Disorder.”

I hope this interview provides some helpful tips and tools to help you better manage your money and it’s impact on your life.

After you’ve had a chance to listen to this audio…please leave us a comment below about what else you’d like to know about. Saving… Budgeting… Making money… Creative ways to add money…

We’ll do our best to help.

ADHD: The $77 Billion Condition

This morning I received an e-mail touting “The Cost of ADHD.”  Being intrigued, I opened the e-mail and began reading.  Apparently, a report published by researchers at Harvard Medical School and Massachusetts General Hospital have said that ADHD “costs sufferers” approximately 77 billion dollars each year.

• “ADHD affects educational attainment” – and so does poor teaching, outdated lesson plans, and teachers who don’t know how to connect with children.
• “ADHD impacts employment” – and so does the common cold, the flu, bosses who are jerks, and more…
• “ADHD causes lost days” – and so does (again) the common cold, the flu, kids who need and deserve our attention (and more still…)

At the heart of this message, I fully understand what the researchers are saying.  I even know some people will get angry with me for the comparisons I make.  But ADHD presents real challenges…  Real struggles…  And we can’t simply just address them by putting the blame on the individual…  By thinking that medication is the only answer…

But what’s it really all about?

Yesterday I spoke with a Mom who battled ADHD and the medical community for  years.  The education and information is out there, but people seem to be paying attention to the wrong thing.  Or maybe they are offering the wrong answers (and advice).

This Mom told me her child’s physician – the supposed professional – that she should give up on her child.  He was a lost cause…

This is an extreme example.  But there is help out there.  It’s just a matter of what you pay attention to (no pun intended) and who you reach out to for support.

Claims like the one above (costs of ADHD to the United States) can be taken several different ways.  Here are some other stats you might like to know:

According to Wikipedia, the common cold costs Americans:

• Doctor visits: $7.7 billion
• Over-the-counter medications: $2.9 billion dollars
• Prescription medications – $400 million

And last but not least… “An estimated 22 to 189 million school days are missed annually due to a cold. As a result, parents missed 126 million workdays to stay home to care for their children. When added to the 150 million workdays missed by employees suffering from a cold, the total economic impact of cold-related work loss exceeds $20 billion per year.”  (From the above Wikipedia link).

Yes…  I understand these numbers are pale in comparison to ADHD.  You can break it apart to the numbers of Americans who are said to have ADHD (approx 4-8% of the population) versus who gets a cold.  But what do these numbers really tell us?  And can they be broken down to real life experience?  Or are they just another way of reporting the so-called lifeless facts that are just meant to scare us?

It’s just something to chew on…

Why do we seemingly leave out so many facts?  And even more importantly, why do we NOT provide more context and comparison!

ADHD is a very real condition.  ADHD requires serious attention (no pun intended once again).  But most of all, ADHD requires love…  It requires helping people — building them up and NOT breaking them down and making them feel worse about themselves.

As a self-described non-baseball enthusiast, I am more drawn to the history of the game…  To the history of one of the most profilic athletes to play major league baseball.  And again, more importantly, I care about story… legacy… greatness… and the idea of what someone represents.

Feeling a little sappy already this morning, I was saddened even more to learn of the passing of Edward Kennedy (the senior Senator from Massachusetts).  Not being much of an active political person – and yes I even live in the great commonwealth of Massachusetts – I am more drawn and saddened by his passing because of what he represents to this country.

For those of you don’t know…  Ted Kennedy was the younger brother to our past President John F. Kennedy (before my time), and Robert Kennedy.

Legacy…  Life… Greatness…

While sharing the news of Senator Kennedy’s passing with a friend, she remarked that he was a very polarizing individual in his politics.  I could sense there was something more to it.  BUT, my point of sharing his passing had nothing to do with his politics.  I was compelled to share simply because of what this man represented to so many people, and his legacy over several decades of growth and history in this country.

Growing up after JFK’s assassination, the Kennedy family represents an empire or royalty in the United States.  They are a family who has been followed and watched…  And yes, they even impacted history and the course of our society.

What Can You Learn From This?

While my friend saw his passing as a moment to comment on his political stance, I was more moved by the loss of a giant in our time.  Like the passing of Michael Jackson or any larger-than-life figure…  there are always people who will see things differently than you and I.

For me…  I have been moved by the greatness of figures like Ted Kennedy, Michael Jackson, and Babe Ruth.  I am looking at what they represented.  And most of the stories of their greatness – focus on what success they achieved in life.

Yes there are critics who take this opportunity to focus on the negatives.  There will always be critics in life.

Who do you choose to listen to?

And more importantly, who will you choose to listen to when it comes to living with ADHD?  Raising a child with ADHD?  Or in supporting a loved one with ADHD?

Will you focus on all they do wrong, or what they do well?

The timing of this post is rather ironic because my wife and I were just out walking this morning — talking about how everyone feels like they have the right to their opinion….  People believe this, even without any expert training or personal experience.  Nothing could be more true for ADD or ADHD.

Because there is so much popularity around this term — everyone thinks they know what ADHD is.  The problem is, most people don’t know.

Case In Point:

I’ll let this article speak for itself.

Apparently Bill Maher got into a conversation about medications in America, and his guest, Arianna Huffington, took that opportunity to comment on ADHD and how it is over-diagnosed.

You all likely know this is one of the most hot-button, controversial topics when it comes to ADHD.

Bottom line, there is a lot to it.  No matter what you believe, ADHD is very real.  The details of it, and your beliefs, are an entirely different story…important, but different nonetheless.

Bottom Line:

The reason I wanted to share this with you today is that it is yet another example of how everyone and their mother (and television guests) have an opinion about ADHD.

I want to take this moment to caution you and remind you to be very careful about who you listen to, what advice you take, and the action you put into place as a result.

Please…please…please be very careful about who you listen to and what you allow them to have you think about ADHD and it’s impact on your life.

Starting this coming Monday, May 4th at 9 PM EDT / 6 PM PDT, you’ll be able to hear from some of the leading experts on ADHD.  As you might suspect, the focus of this interview series is to help share important information and provide strategies and support to the entire family.

Far too many times, an individual with ADHD is expected to be the one that bears the burden of change.  They are the ones who can sometimes be made to feel isolated or is if they are the problem.

Yes, people with ADHD struggle, but to successfully support an individual with ADHD, we must all become better informed and more aware of what it takes to help our loved ones.

Registration is open now http://www.ADHDFamilySummit.com

Here are just some of the speakers and topics we’ll be covering

• Theresa Cerulli, MD – The ADHD Brain & Co-existing Conditions
• David Giwerc, MCC – IS ADHD Who You Are Or Something You Have?
• James T. Webb, PhD – Understanding ADHD & Giftedness
• Tara McGillicuddy, SCAC – Women and Girls With ADHD
• Jennifer Koretsky – Self-Care Strategies For Parents And Adults With ADHD
• Kenny Handelman, MD – Understanding ADHD Medications

We also have a very special guest, Alexis Martin Neely, who will be speaking with us about how to protect our families and loved ones in case of an emergency.

Don’t miss this event!

2009 ADHD Family Summit

http://www.ADHDFamilySummit.com <============ Click Here For All The Details

Too Many People Sit On The Fence

A mentor of mine really pushes people to make a commitment, Yes I am interested or No, I am not.  Either way, he just wants to be involved with people who can make a decision and NOT sit on the fence.

>>>>That’s what today’s post is about!<<<<

There are a lot of debates amongst society, and within the ADHD community, about ADHD as a diagnosis

• Gift versus Curse
• Whole Vs. Part
• Medication Vs. Alternatives
• Doctors Vs. Parents
• Diagnosis Vs. Condition
• And I’m Sure Many More…

Where you stand on these debates doesn’t so much matter to me, as long as you are passionate about your side of the argument.

Let me clarify that…  My personal view is to approach differences in people, and to help them get the supports, resources, tools, and strategies to be successful in life.  I don’t believe ADHD is a gift nor do I believe it is a curse. Instead, I actually believe that is a part of who the person is – and with the right supports, tools, resources, etc… a person with ADHD can be just as successful as anyone else.

Now this approach upsets some people, and at the same time, it hits home for other people.

That’s What We’re Talking About

We will all have different opinions about ADHD.  That’s just life when it comes to a condition that is hotly contested, debated, and largely quite misunderstood.

For me, I’ll engage in conversation and debate with anyone about ADHD as a condition so long as they are informed and provide support to people, rather than striking them down.

Beyond that, we can agree to disagree.

And That’s What I Want For You

People who are successful in life, and in managing their challenges are very passionate or at least strongly opinionated about their perspective on things.

So if you are struggling to figure out how ADHD is impacting yourself, your child, a spouse, loved one, or friend — I’m going to ask you to find a side and get involved.

There’s nothing more dangerous than sitting on the fence and going back and forth.  It just leads to confusion, blaming, and negativity all around…

What Do You Believe?

I want to hear from you!  Please let me know where you stand on the great debates of ADHD.  Tell me what really gets you passionate about living with ADHD, struggling with ADHD, or supporting someone with ADHD.

Even if I don’t agree with you, show me your passion and I’ll respect what you have to say!

PS. – Will you join me for the next ADHD Family Teleseminar?  This Sunday we will be talking about ADHD Co-existing Conditions And Complications!

No matter where you stand on the medication debate, considering alternative treatments is critical to successfully supporting someone with ADHD or to managing your own ADHD.

Why?

Last night I shared with my listeners that even when choosing to use medication, “alternatives” really are an integral part of successful treatment.  You see, for me, ADHD alternative treatment involves anything we do or use that is non-medication based!

Some of what we talked about:

• Neurofeedback / Biofeedback
• Diet
• Supplements
• Strategies
• Hypnotherapy

My readers asked a lot of really great questions, and I think the most common one of them all was:

What ADHD alterantive treatments actually work?

This is a great question, and we answered it last night.  There is no one alternative treatment for ADHD that works better than the next.

ADHD is a complex diagnosis that is never one size fits all.  It is different in everyone it touches, and that’s why next week we’ll be covering the topic: ADHD Co-existing Conditions & Complications.

We’d love for you to join us.  Simply visit http://www.ADHDFamilyTeleseminars.com to register.  You’ll even get your chance to ask your most pressing question.

Have a suggested topic?  We love hearing from you.  Just contact us and let us know what your most pressing question is.

When I first heard the news, I started to wonder whether or not Michael’s ADHD would come into the spotlight.  In the ADHD community, there has been tremendous buzz about Michael’s accomplishments in despite his being diagnosed with ADHD many years ago.

Now, I’ve wanted to comment on this for just about a week, but I decided to wait to see the reactions of others.

Some of the fallout:

Michael’s response

“Regrettable behavior” and “bad judgment.”

Commentary

• Phelps did a dumb thing
• Former President’s smoked marijuana in their 20s and managed to do just fine in life

Losing sponsors and being suspended

Kellogg’s drops sponsorship, and 3-months suspension from USA Swimming.

Little Mention Of ADHD

For the most part, there was very little mention of this activity and a link to ADHD or impulsivity… Most people focused on poor judgment and his statement of “regrettable behavior.”  I am thrilled about that…  The focus should NOT be on ADHD.

But then, I happened upon a comment where ADHD was the central focus (or suggested focus) of why Michael engaged in such behavior.  Sure, we could argue that smoking pot was the result of impulsivity (and even ADHD)… but we weren’t there.

And aside from that — what’s the point of saying it was related to ADHD?  He did it, he took responsibility for it, and his life goes on.

One might argue that he might never have admitted it if he hadn’t been caught or if he wasn’t in the public eye. But who cares?  There are (dear I say) millions of teens who experiment with drugs.  Some probably have ADHD…  Some probably experiment because of their “impulsivity” or other related ADHD characteristics…  And still some kids without the slightest hint of ADHD also experiment with illegal drugs.

Here’s My Take:

I don’t care one way or the other about the circumstances surrounding Michael’s behavior or experimentation with marijuana.  Quite frankly, I think any debate about whether or not this activity is linked to ADHD is totally irrelevant and unnecessary.

Why?  What purpose does it serve the greater good of society?  He made a mistake…  And if I may, he’s pretty darn successful.  Let’s focus on that!  Let’s focus on the fact that he made his decisions…  He got caught…  He apologized…  He has consequences…  And his life will go on…

Are We Overlooking The Most Important Factor?

For those people who want to debate Michael’s behavior and any link to ADHD related behaviors…  I ask you this:

• Have you considered the amount of pressure on him thus far in his life?
• Do you have any idea what he has sacrificed to achieve Olympic glory and success?

I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty darn impressed with what Michael has overcome in life (ADHD or otherwise).

For the record, I am NOT excusing his behavior or condoning it.  But I am a bit of a realist.  This young man has faced adversity, overcome challenges, succeeded in life when many thought he would fail… and so much more!

Let’s NOT forget that being diagnosed with ADHD is just a small piece of who a person is.  It does not define him, nor does it account for all of his decisions, behaviors, or challenges.

Perhaps his decision to allegedly engage in this behavior was simply Michael’s way of being his age for once (right or wrong)!

And maybe…just maybe…people who see this behavior as related to ADHD are just skeptics waiting for him to fail.  I suppose if you wait long enough for something — it’s bound to happen.

Tell Us What You Think!

Have a different perspective? We love to hear from our readers. Let us know what you think about this post by leaving a comment below.

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