ADHD? You Are Being Lied To!
October 9, 2008 
2 Comments
If or a loved one are affected by ADHD, then I have to tell you:
“You Are Being Lied To!”
Someone… Somewhere… Is absolutely lying to you about what is possible and what it is going to take to finally overcome the day-to-day struggles you are experiencing! I’m NOT about to let anyone else be misled about ADHD being a disorder or deficit…
Yes – there are people struggling with ADHD every single day. I am not arguing that.
Watch this video to find out what I am talking about:
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2G_Kklc8S-0
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Dr. Stern,
I don’t think adding distrust to those precious few resources we have to turn to is productive. Part of the “lie” is well intentioned people who try to guide us when they are not asking the right questions, figuring out those questions is where the real answers are.
I think most of us live outside of our comfort zone, never mind stepping out of it. We learn to hide and settle for what we get, given the level of functioning we have. Our therapists do help us to keep our chins up, but they are not lying to us, they are just addressing the symptoms and not the roots of our unhappiness.
I again feel guilty when I hear someone say to me, “figure out what you want and build the resources around you to get it”. Honestly, if I were able to do this on my own I would have done it already. This kind of statement makes me wonder why I have not been able to do it, again. Guess I should get my crazy act together, or stop being so lazy, or maybe I’m just too stupid(sounds an awful lot like a book title).
Getting a degree and finding a job are not lies, they are building blocks to success that I stress to my kids are VERY important.
Figuring out exactly what it is that would fulfill us and what the stumbling blocks are that are in our way, asking the right questions-that is the guidance we need along the journey to happiness. Not because we have been lied to, but because there is nobody asking us the right questions so that we can figure out our own definition of happiness.
Rory,
It was great to meet you at ADDA, and I know you are aware of the cutting edges of treatment options. Your video today about being lied to by someone if you have ADHD is very true, however I got mixed messages with the bifurcatoin of Gift or Disorder. How about “both and” and neither? I believe it is correct that if you follow rules made for the masses when one has a brain with extremes, ADHD or not, then you are using a Chevy owner’s manual to run your Ferrari or Ford Tractor, not the individual manual that works specifically for your unique brain and the talents and challenges you have.
I’ve heard it said many times and believe that no two ADHD people’s brains are exactly alike: more so than those falling in the center of the bell curve. Using the same analogy as before, we are a custom built car that may be more radical than average. We may stand out in superior ways as in athletics or business, (Michael Phelps or Jet Blue’s founder)or sometimes with a missed opportunity not taken or a risk taken, we could end up in real trouble. Somtimes we float along life not really having dirction and frustrated that we haven’t learned to swim in any direction.
What I found missing, was that as many experts of your stature said at the ADDA conference, next to the correct medicine (for those who choose/need it), and the correct dose and diagnosis, ADHD coaching and CBT which are results oriented have been shown to be some of the most effective treatments to help people learn to swim. Or, to not mix metaphores, as an ADHD coach I help my clients learn how to write their own owner’s manual that fits the way they learn and blossom. I know you had limited time, but when I hear “doctor and therapist” and day to day result oriented therapies such as CBT or ADHD specific coaching, I notice the omission.
Keep up your important work and get the word out. But please, don’t forget to leave those who have their meds and have their issues with the past resolved, but still can’t seem to move forward on their own.
Best wishes,
Glen Hogard, Senior Certified ADHD Coach, A.C.O. co-founder, A.C.T., (soon) http://www.worldadhd.com, worldofadd.com, etc. (google me on the web to find me)