ADHD Stereotypes and Expectations
April 1, 2010 
16 Comments
I think it’s safe to say that there are some pretty powerful stereotypes about ADHD? And I don’t think I’ll offend anyone by saying that there are a lot of people who have certain expectations of people once they hear the words “ADHD.”
But what if we there was a quick and easy way to understand people’s reactions and why they behave the way do…towards people with ADHD?
Please consider for a moment:
- How do stereotypes and expectations influence your behavior?
- How do they influence your child’s behavior?
- And what affect do they have on how your child is treated?
These are some pretty interesting questions that I think a lot of people consider every now and again. But what if these questions deserve more attention than you might realize? What if just being aware of these questions provided you with powerful insight into how and why your child really is treated by others… And why he or she might struggle just to get out of bed in the morning?
Perhaps the following can shed some light on these questions:
“…our own behavior can be influenced by our stereotypes, and that
activation of stereotypes can depend on our current state of mind and
how we view ourselves at the moment.” (page 169)
I don’t know about you…but this quote quickly got my brain spinning in all sorts of directions.
These words come from a book called “Predictably Irrational.” It is written by an MIT professor and researcher who studies behavioral economics. The basic premise of the book suggests that despite our desire to think we as humans are “rational” people who make clear decisions, we are not.
Through research and investigation, the author demonstrates that we are actually irrational people whose behavior can typically be predicted, and even manipulated based on our circumstances and the situation we find ourselves in.
This book might at first be about economics and buying decisions, but it really has everything to do with human dynamics, interaction, and behavior. If you haven’t read “Predictably Irrational” yet, I would strongly suggest you move it to the top of your list.
The more I read the above quote…the more obvious it seems to me that I already knew this. But in the context of this book, and a personal “a-ha” about how easily we are influenced….it meant so much more. My mind immediately began wondering if this can explain why negative feedback can quickly crush a person’s self-esteem…? And what if the person were constantly getting negative feedback? Does this explain why some people just give up?
But even more so…my mind began wondering if this can explain how and why some teachers automatically believe certain things about a child with ADHD…without ever having taught them before?
What are your thoughts on the subject?
“How We Decide” by Jonah Lehrer is also a fascinating account of the role of emotion vs. reason in decision making. So often our rational explanations are summoned and offered as a justification for our emotional decisions already made.
I have just recently read a blog where a mom wrote about the positive aspects of her sons ADHD, and then a reader left comments back telling her that she was basically dilussional and doing her son a dis-service. I think I will send this mom a link to this article so that she will have even more evidence to support what she already knew natuarally. If we can focus on our children’s strengths they too will be able to focus on their own strengths. We know that ADHD is a challenge, I don’t think this needs to be pointed out daily.
I do think that all teachers are influenced by the ADHD diagnosis. I think that the more knowledgeable, more skilled teachers, become more sympathetic and more willing to work with a child with a diagnosis. On the other hand, less skilled teahers see the ADHD label and just see more work for themselves and become more determined to make the child fit the mold.
~Sarah
http://www.tumbling-sanity.blogspot.com
My son is going thru this as we speak. He has been harassed by the principal, teachers and students for 5 years at the school he attends.
They have him seeing 7 different physcologists,social workers and outside professionals. They have him seeing more of them than he is at school.
Two weeks ago, they wanted to put him in a Treatment Facility for Behavioural Problem children. Thank god we had to go before a board of directors before putting him in the program. The boards Physocolgists agreed that by putting him the program, he would have been worse coming out than going in.
On one ocassion a year ago, he would not be allowed to go on a trip unless a parent went. I put my foot down and screamed discrimination. Finally they allowed him to go but had one teacher assigned to him alone. They had no problems with him that day.
We have little problems with him at home, they just have them at school. He comes home at least once a day feeling sick or having a severe headache, once home for awhile, he is fine and goes back to school. Stress and anxiety.
We have finally after 2 years, got him relocated to a diferent school and will see how things progress. Will let you know
This is so true on so many levels. It is always concerning to have a child labeled as ADD given these types of built in stereotypes. The somewhat constand negativity is difficult to deal with at best as an adult, let alone a child. I trully believe this is why many parents are so concerned about that child being given the label of ADD. Why so many parents fight to not have their child labeled as such. It is a little heartbreaking.
It is mind boggeling to me that Teachers are not appropiately in-serviced or trained on how to work with these children diagnosed with ADD, ADHD. A lot of teachers just give up, many are so misinformed they cause more damage, as in Mr. Dunlop’s case. Some try, but are so overwhelmed with no support and large classes. However, that being said, Parents must also demand that staff working with their child be properly trained. No matter how many “on site” advocates there are, it will be the parents who will make the difference in education. Don’t blame it on the teachers, look to your administrators and if needed get an “appropiately trained” advocate. Parents need to work with their teachers, not against them. Public Education in the US can not do it all.
I believed that it’s human nature to put people into groups on how they act, what they own etc.
If someone is different in anyway they people look at the them different.
Our 10 year has been having issues with the school since K and after 5 years they have decided to test him for a learning disabilty. I said something to the doctor yetersday and he said I know they known for not hurrying with kind of stuff.
My son was finally diagnosed with ADD in 7th grade after 8 years of constant reports from every teacher he had, from preK to 7th, that he was difficult in class. Once he was diagnosed (a long process), it took ME, the parent, to educate the teachers about ADD and that pushing the child to try harder actually makes their ADD worse. Many did not believe me, so I puchased and distributed the book, “Healing ADD” by Daniel G. Amen that explained the 6 types of ADD and how to heal them. I also had to request a 504 Plan and a IEP for him too. The discrimination was subtle, but still there. I finally asked one teacher would he belittle and demand a deaf person to listen harder? My son is now 18 years old and is afraid of going to college… I will try to show him how to help himself through http://www.wrightslaw.com/flyers/college.504.pdf
Blessings to all…
My suggestion to those whose children are having severe problems in school and having to spend far more time with various professionals, director meetings, etc, rather than in the classroom, is to homeschool that child instead.
I had seven children and amongst those children I had two with obvious signs of ADHD. I knew without any doubt that the one who was incapable of sitting still and quiet at a desk for one hour – let alone an entire day – would suffer a great deal in a standard school setting before the end of Kindergarten.
One of the things we tried instead was an alternative program with certified teacher/tutors, which bore my concerns out. One of these teachers was a special needs teacher who became impatient when no one was looking and traumatized one of my children.
To be fair, a teacher’s time is not endless. They have to meet curriculum expectations in time with clock and calendar.
For the most part, they expect students to sit quiet and listen, which doesn’t happen with an ADHD style student. What I observed with each teacher (we had several) nearly all became frustrated with my ADHD child’s energy and especially that child’s questions when confused by something in educational material or with a manner of explaining.
Sadly, I saw that these teachers had gone through so much standardized regimentation they were incapable of seeing where my child was at and just taking that child forward from there. I can’t imagine a better education takes place when an ADHD child is taken off to see behavioral specialists during the school day or put into programs that do not deal with the education everyone else is getting.
A family and child with these challenges are better off homeschooling, if at all possible.
My son has been on trial and error ADHD meds since he was in 2nd grade. The best year he had at school was in 3rd since his teacher made little deal about it and let him stand up to get his work done, fidget w small things.. as if it was natural for a child. Since then all of his teachers have had a struggle because having him with a 504 makes us the sqeaky wheel. Now that he’s in 6th gr., he had a hard time organizing from the beginning of middle school since it’s such a change. 6 weeks ago, I took him off his med., just couldn’t take seeing him loose weight and have trouble sleeping any more. Now he’s doing great physically, but hit bottom in the focus dept. so I reasessed his 504 with his teachers. A couple were fairly helpful, but 2 just haven’t been keeping up with the 504 arrangements. I got no cooperation from any about letting Jake dictate to me w/ his homework; (even though they know he’s off med) they think since he’s done his own writing before, he can do it any time; just doesn’t want to. It seems that’s what most think about ADD, ADHD people; because we’ve had control and focus, that we can anytime. Makes it look like we are trying to get away with things we just don’t feel like doing. I think that is the basic stereotype people have on mainly children with this condition. Since an average of 3 kids per class have this, it seems a no brainer for the administraion to allow a few professional days to be devoted to enlightening teachers with teaching these kids.
I think it was Ernie Larsen who said something like, “What we live by, we learn; what we learn, we practice; and, what we practice, we become.” I grew up in a large, southern family that was permeated with stereotypes of anybody and everybody who was slightly different from them, or perceived to be so. I wrote a poem many years ago that addressed some of their stereotypes and entitled it “Ismisms!” I learned from Jim King that the opposite of stereotyping was part of what he called INGing, and from B. F. Skinner I learned that man was the only animal that could mutate his behavior within one individual within one generation. In short, I do not share the stereotypes from my family of origin. This website is one of the ways we can help others break free of the chains to which their early “learnings” shackled them. Perhaps few writers have put it as succinctly as Ruiz has in The Four Agreements.
“A strength” refers to something that has been well learned. “A weakness” refers to something that somehow has not been learned although, by this time, we all expected it to have been learned.
Then, irrationally, indeed, we usually grab for the medical model and blame the “patient” or learner or kid or whatever you want to call this person, for being “sick” or “deficient” or for “having” a disorder.
ADHD is not a disorder in the medical sense. It’s order that never happened. Was never learned.
It’s not going to happen, either, until the personal climate of that person undergoes a change.
In the term “personal climate” I include what’s going on, chemically speaking, inside the bag of water and gunk and electricity, slung on movable sticks, that could describe us, in one way.
Remember GIGO, one of the first anagrammatic rules of computers? “Garbage In; Garbage Out.” Humans are not magically exempt from that rule.
Manage the chemistry. Monitor the stuff that goes into that bag of flesh through the mouth, the nose, the ears, the eyes, the skin.
You want to promote, especially in the very young, acetylcholine and discourage adrenalin during learning times. For little kids, that’s all the time. You want the brain to be governed by a resting heart beat. That’s when order is learned and disorders are avoided.
Reduce the frazzle factor. Take the time to cook real food. Stay home. Slow down the music, your speech, your speed, your food, your breath! Where are you going that you’re in such a hurry? Remember, wherever you go, “there” you are, and you might as well get “there” in a state of calm alertness.
Are we irrational or irrational animals? Sometimes one, sometimes the other and often, as a reader pointed out, we use the rational to justify the irrational. But we are always…chemical.
I totally agree that people are influenced by their life situations, good or bad. That is why some people can see past the ADHD label and see the person underneath and why some can’t. I pushed to get the diagnosis for my daughter so that I could get her the help she needed such as Medication and an IEP. I keep her teachers informed when we are adjusting medication and such so that they can help me evaluate the response. I have been very lucky because the teachers have been very helpful and one in particular who has her for a morning class and an afternoon class. Yes, labels can definately hurt but somethimes they are needed to get the help you need. I agree that the constant negativity can make a person just give up and I have seen that with my daughter from time to time so I have been working hard to celebrate the sucesses daily. Life is filled with constantly shifting circumstances that we must navigate and finding the right information really helps.
The tendancy toward steriotypical thinking: It’s important we recognize that it isn’t just “them,” it’s all of us to some degree or another. We are fallible human beings and our minds need to catagorize to some extent to function. Understanding others is often hard work. So much easier to just make quick judgments and blame, not realizing the damaging effects on others, and ultimately ourselves.
Doesn’t this apply to parenting a difficult, acting-out child as well? Might the assumptions be a steriotypical judgment that misses the mark of caring for the child by a mile? With all the emphasis on “bullying” these days, I can’t help but notice similarities in the issues. What are we modeling for our children”
A healthy, well-balanced individual who is able to do mindful, reflective thought and has a reasonably well developed moral character will self-correct before wounding others and damaging relationships. A person with emotional regulation skills will have a measure of tolerance. Basically, we’re talking about our own maturity and development.
This steriotypical way of viewing people and situations is just another example of how one’s perception is skewed by what one believes. And it get’s reinforced repeatedly by it’s own assumptions and conclusions. How sad! A legacy of judgmental attitudes passed from generation to generation. Not much hope unless there’s a radical awakening on someone’s part to desire truth and love and development of empathy.
To defenet how bad it is …sometimes i feel so bad that i wana kill myself ..why no respond from the brean but its so easy i was lefted alon ya lefted alone but thank god its not for a long time.this is i told u becouse i think that it helps rit now i have a lot of work and i feel beter
As the parent of an ADHD child who also has a physical anomally I definitely belive the general public wants to stereotype and put those around them into specific groups, it is probably natural and also helps us deal with the world around us. Unfortunately this is not the best solution for all. My son has had peers reject him, teachers want to brand him, and the general public stare at him. This is all very debilitating! However, on a rare occassion there has been the individual who was willing to get to know him, and in return be blessed. Those that can’t see past what they perceive lose out. During many student intervention team meatings I have had on more than one opportunity, educators and administrators attempt to place him in a category that he did not fit it, and I was forced to refuse their choice of placement, and educate them about his disability. (A great source, HOw to Reach and Teach ADHD Students, by Sandra Rief) I offered this as a summer read to the teacher of the the next school year, sometimes it was taken with excitement other times flat out refused For the most part I believe it is lack of education or knowledge about the disability that causes the person to want to steroeotype because by doing this they are better able to in their minds deal with the student, again this is not the best solution for the individual student. As humans we stereotype as a way of dealing with life and those that don’t fit so well in the category we have placed them in pay the price.
I absolutely agree. I have ADD and can personally tell you I have had this happen to me. Ever since I was a small child in the 1970s, before ADD was as recognized as it is today, I remember not fitting in because I was different. I grew up with continual negative feedback which destroyed my self-esteem, and if it wasn’t for my wonderful, encouraging parents I’m not sure I would be where I am today. After being diagnosed in my early 20s I soon learned you often have to be very careful who you disclose this information to, especially when it comes to people in higher education; and I never disclose this to my children’s teachers for fear my children will automatically be labelled as having ADD without having been diagnosed. Also I have never disclosed my ADD to my children’s pediatrician for exactly the same reason. When it comes to my children I want to protect them from many of the negatives I have experienced; however, I realize there is a chance my five year old could still be diagnosed even though he has not shown any symptoms as for now and my oldest is a senior in high school and also symptom free. If my youngest were ever to start to show symptoms of ADD I would be the first to discuss my own diagnosis with his doctor; however, I would still be cautious about disclosing this fact to any one in his school. Instead I would choose to spend the extra time it would take to provide him with the tools he would need outside of his normal classroom .