ADHD Parent Seeks Improvement

I don’t know if this is an asset or a liability, but for better or worse, I am a stickler for details.  I pick up on the small things, particularly when it comes to the words people choose in a discussion.  You might call this a personal pet-peeve of mine, but I choose my words very carefully and with intent.

A lot of people tell me I have no filter, but I actually think things through rather carefully (and quickly) when providing feedback or entertaining a discussion.

This afternoon I connected with a new colleague, and we were sharing our different points of view on ADHD, giftedness, and supporting children and families in general.  I say different points of view very loosely, because quite honestly, we hold a lot of the same ideals and beliefs…

During this conversation, I started talking about my belief that we cannot simply be focusing on ADHD (or giftedness, or any other learning condition) in and of itself.  Differences are differences, and we have taken the approach that different is bad.  We seem to need a label for everything, and if we are not normal, we create categories and assign “judgment” to those categories.

Slight Tangent Here: I have come to believe that these labels exist because of certain societal expectations of what is normal.  For instance, becoming an attorney or a medical doctor carries prestige in most circles, while other jobs are sorted into blue-collar, etc…  (Labels once again)…

As we continued our discussion about focusing on the big picture, the “wholeness” of an individual, I commented that I see a lot of people who are striving for constant improvement.

To me, and it’s just my opinion, improvement suggests something is wrong.  Improvement suggests we are trying to strengthen an area that is weaker.  On the other hand, focusing on success implies we want to reach an optimal level.

Again, this is very nit-picky, but I believe it is important when approaching how we will approach our children and what expectations we will hold for them.  I stopped trying to correct my weaknesses a long time ago, and have always been successful in life by playing to my strengths.

• Extra Tip:  How are we measuring improvement?  What does it mean?  It is hard to be “improved” if we have not set a measure or goal.

This is a very subtle shift, but choosing the right words has a direct impact (or is a direct result) of the beliefs we hold, and ultimately what we expect from others.

Look at this another way — it’s like the difference between someone who sees a problem versus someone who sees opportunity.

What Do You Think?

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