ADHD Parenting: Don’t Hide Behind Who You Are
April 4, 2010 
2 Comments
I think one of the biggest problems or obstacles facing children and families affected by ADHD is this prevailing idea (by society at large) that these individuals are broken and need to be fixed. This really kills me… And it drives me BONKERS!!!!!
But that’s just the surface issue that we need to worry about. What lies beneath that is far more offensive, insulting, and dangerous!
You’ve heard me say it before…and I need to say it again. That’s how serious of an issue this is!
“Effective treatment should NOT focus on teaching the
individual (or their family) to become like others. Instead,
it should help the individual embrace their differences and help
them learn how to work with their ADHD and NOT against it.*”
My friend and colleague Jennifer Koretsky talks about “unleashing your inner maverick,” and I don’t think there is any better way to say it.
Too many people who are different are singled out and can be led to live a life of shame, doubt, sadness, and more…
But it doesn’t have to be that way.
While ADHD as a condition can certainly present challenges for an individual, that does not mean the person themself does not have valuable talents and qualities that can help them become successful.
The worst thing you can do…whether you are a parent or have ADHD yourself…is to break some down… Never lose hope… Never give up… Never believe that you or your child are not good enough simply because you are different.
Most of all, NEVER hide behind who you are! You are on the on this earth for a reason, and you have qualities that make you stand out from everyone else. Start to embrace those differences as an advantage.
I don’t care what they are… Put them to use in a way that embraces your passion and gives you energy and pleasure.
My thoughts on this Dr. Stern, is that i believe totally in what you quote in this article today April 4, 2010.
I have only begun to realize my situation with my struggles in my life in the last couple years with feeling different about something, and without being assessed that i ‘officially’ do have ADHD, there is a lot that points that way for me. So i have hung onto and digested your comments, which of course revolve around this positive quotation, since coming to this site.
However, grateful and informed i am becoming about ADHD thru your site, I am coming to this realization that perhaps i need to also find out and work with someone who deals mainly with Adults of ADHD, since i have no children and my issues of for my own self and benefit.
I do not want to discount at all here your help in fact i am blessed to have this site to go to and help and affirm me to stay positive and realize that me being different keeps me hopeful that in being different i can still get better.
Your comments for me would also be appreciated. Keep doing what you are doing as the world is a better place for all of us partly because of your outreach in helping others.
Judie
Rory,
Thank you for this! I homeschool my 8-yr-old, having pulled him out of a small public school in the middle of first grade–over 2 years ago. We are both ADD, so our schoolroom in the house is a bit chaotic. Nonetheless, he learns quickly. And he wasn’t going to get much education in a large classroom!
Sometimes I lose sight of all of our accomplishments, when I think about how he can’t tolerate a room full of other students for a whole day like other kids.
Your wisdom helps me get back on track, enjoying him for who he is, honing his many gifts (outside the box!) We are both better off! We don’t neglect the tough learning issues, but neither do we obsess about them. And my shiny, happy, curious, smart boy is back behind his eyes.
Thanks,
Elizabeth